You’ve got your bonjour ready and your merci on standby. You’re prepared for your trip to France. But then you’re introduced to someone and they lean in… for a cheek kiss? How many? Which side do you start on? This simple social ritual, known as la bise, can be a major source of anxiety for travelers.
Don't worry. What looks like a complicated dance is actually a simple social greeting with a few unwritten rules. Here is your easy guide to mastering la bise and avoiding that awkward "head clash."
The Golden Rules of the French Cheek Kiss
A Greeting, Not a Romance
La bise is not a romantic gesture. It's a formal way of saying hello and goodbye to friends, family, and sometimes even colleagues. It is not used with everyone. You won't use it with strangers, for instance, a cashier at a store.
How Many Kisses Do You Give?
This is the most confusing part. The number of kisses is a regional thing. In Paris, it’s usually two kisses. But in other regions, it can be one, three, or even four. There's no secret rule to memorize. The best advice is to simply follow the lead of the person greeting you.
Don't Actually Kiss the Person
You don’t actually kiss the person. You lean in and make a kissing sound (muah) while your cheek touches the other person's cheek. It's a symbolic kiss, not a wet one.
The Art of the Movement: How to Do La Bise Without Looking Awkward
1. Don’t Hesitate
The French do not appreciate hesitation. Just go for it. The other person will guide you.
2. Start on the Right Side
While the number of kisses varies, the side you start on is almost always the same. Start by putting your right cheek against their right cheek.
3. Just Go With the Flow
The other person will guide you. If they pull away after one kiss, that’s it. If they move to the other side, just follow their lead.
La Bise vs. The Handshake: French Greeting Etiquette
When do you kiss, and when do you just shake hands?
Handshakes: This is for formal, business, or professional settings. If you’re meeting someone for the first time, a handshake is a safe and polite option.
La Bise: This is for social settings. When you meet the friends of a friend, it's appropriate to do la bise.
Embrace the Awkwardness
The beauty of traveling is learning these new customs. You’ll make mistakes—everyone does. The French understand this and they won’t judge you for a small cultural faux pas. Just embrace the experience and remember: it's not a kiss on the lips, it’s just a friendly muah.
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